my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
