oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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