Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
