I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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