I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
