So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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