she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
