I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
