when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
