I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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