I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
