I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
