Is it because I queefed?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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