and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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