the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I came so hard my ears popped.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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