I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
