She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
