I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
