I need help removing her.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize