Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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