some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
