So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Can you repeat that, but with context?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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