Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
