My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
