So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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