He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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