That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
