girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
