I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
