i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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