god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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