you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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