it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We named our party play list daddy issues
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
