She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
