When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
