Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
