sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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