I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
