i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
