omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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