He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
