Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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