You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
