Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
