Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
