yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
