Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
