Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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