so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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