pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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