Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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