Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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