An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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