Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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