i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
