It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
