Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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