It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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