I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
