i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
