we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
