Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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