I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
