let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
