I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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