He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even my vagina gasped.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
