operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
