I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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