the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
