Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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