you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
