i need an iv and a liver transplant
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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